Where to start? So many different things have gone on in the past week, I can't decide which to write about. I guess I will start with the reinvention of me. I realized, after a doozy of a fight with my hubby, that I have grown complacent. I can't decide if it's depression, laziness, or an all-time low self esteem, but I haven't wanted to do zip in quite a while. I have been unable to find work, and after giving up, I've been unwilling to look for yet another job that will just frustrate me and foster my intense dislike of the general population. I finished my Associates degree in psychology last year and I'm working on a Bachelor's degree in English now, so it's not like I spend my day lounging in front of the TV stuffing my face all day. I have school work to do, and while my house isn't spotless, it isn't a pig-sty either. I have 2 dogs and 2 cats to take care of and clean up after as well. And I try to find time to write. So my days aren't exactly carefree leisure time activity.
I find, however, that not working has made me feel like less of a contributor to my marriage and more of a leech. My husband is the one working and making the money, and I do things at my own pace and answer only to him. Thus, I have inadvertently put him in the role of boss, father, and minder, instead of my partner...and the strain is mounting. I'm actively looking for work again, and I'll take anything at all if it'll put us back on even ground. However, I still will find time to write, do school work, take care of the animals and the house and somewhere in there, find time to enjoy life. I'll let you know how it goes!
No comments:
Post a Comment